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THE MONSTROUS NATURE OF ADDICTION
Engaging in a solitary battle with an invincible opponent
I developed an extraordinary bond with my son from the time he started learning to talk. Our relationship has always been uncommon, so it was easy to quit drinking again 19 years ago. There was a slight possibility of me getting custody of him, and there was no possibility I could win a parental custody battle if I was drinking. I still struggle to understand why, but I was unreceptive to any type of recovery and I moved forward without learning some really important things about how I should move forward. It took years and a lot of hard work, but once I was able to climb out of the hole I had dug for myself, life turned around and things were very bright. I was granted custody of my son, killing it at my job and staying busy. I was so humiliated that alcohol had gotten the better of me again that I hid it from as many people as I was able to. I was determined to simply make it an insignificant part of my past. A little blip or blemish that I could scrub into nonexistence.
There’s no denying that I got much stronger without alcohol in my life, but about 3 years into my sobriety, while I was visiting Chicago with my son, something happened. As we were walking around downtown we came upon some live blues music where there was a crowd of people drinking beer. That’s when a thought popped into my head. A thought I now recognize…
